Separation Anxiety

What is separation anxiety? It is the distress that children experience when their parents temporarily leave them. Insecurity is the main reason for separation anxiety. Children may be afraid that they will not "survive" if their parents are not close by to take care of them. It normally begins between the ages of 6-9 months old. It peaks around age 2, and should begin to decline graduallly until around age 3. Can separation anxiety reoccur with elementary age children? YES! It may reoccur in response to environmental changes and stressors. A child who has attended and enjoyed school for several years may suddenly become sick so that they can stay home. The usual complaint is, "I don't want to go to school." Is separation anxiety the same thing as "school phobia?" NO! The term "school phobia" is misleading. Clinical studies show that these students are usually NOT afraid of teachers or the actual school building, but are frightened to leave home instead... What are early warning signs of separation anxiety? *A child's reluctance to visit friends. *A child's reluctance to play alone. What can parents do to help ease the anxiety? *Establish a consistent daily routine, so the child knows details about who will be there for him/her, when they will arrive to and from school, and where his/her parent will be during the day. *Any action that reassures the child of the safety and security of their family will help. *Contact your school counselor to help assess the severity of the situation, and to determine if there are potential sources of anxiety at school. What causes separation anxiety? In some cases, separation anxiety can be a biochemical reaction which may be treated by a physician. Other severe cases may require counseling to help deal with underlying fears. When is it NOT separation anxiety? Sometimes a resistant child may seem to have a problem with separation anxiety when actually he/she is testing limits or trying to get their own way. This is a CONTROL issue, not separation anxiety! Talk to your school counselor to help assess the situation and to arrive at a discipline plan that may relieve both parent and child of the power struggle. ***Adapted from "A Practical Resource for Elementary Counselors," by Janet M. Bender, M.Ed

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